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"All right, girls, get your frocks on. Time is against us, and we have things to do."
-- The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
|It was the end of the calendar year of 2008. We bemoaned our failings in our solitary corners as we looked with desperate hope towards the mass of world-wide resolve bearing down upon us. As we huddled closer and closer we discovered that we were not so alone as we had imagined, and we began to be warmed by a shared sense of purpose and the beginnings of a grand idea.|
Welcome to Courtesan School.
Questions for Us
Why courtesan school?
This was the Goddamn Jaguar's idea. Because the lore for girls has us as cast-iron bitches, or pretty pretty princesses, and we were neither fish nor fowl (nor fae, yet). Because the lore for courtesans, especially with recent developments in popular film and fiction, is to be intelligent, well-educated, graceful, poised, and beautiful each in their individual ways. The virtues of the courtesan are Beauty, Cheek, Brilliance, Gaiety, Grace, Charm, and Timing (as listed by Susan Griffin in The Book of the Courtesans) and these are things we wished to embody in ourselves as we progress towards wellness. We are not there yet, thus, courtesan school. Thus, baby courtesans.
Why the comm?
Well, to be honest, it was already there. We had started this comm as a place to make our journals less of a chunk of to-do lists with actual entries sparsely in-between, and that faded out about three years before this occurred. Now it's been re-purposed as a central place where we can discuss our goals, the problems reaching our goals, post suggestions for each other, and generally cheer each other on.
How do I join?
We've been doing this for almost four years now. (No, we still have no idea where that time went.) And, by and large, we feel as though we're making progress and succeeding in being mindful of ourselves and our lessons long-term. However, we've both gained and lost members in that time, which has been neither easy nor smooth. The best way to inquire about becoming a baby courtesan yourself is to contact one of us core three: lireavue, kikibug13, or kittydesade
If you want to do the work yourself and touch base with us every now and again, by all means. This is best done when not in a vacuum, which is why we have the community, but you are welcome to watch, learn, play along. There is no formal application, as all of this is highly individual. However, please do see the next section for a guideline of the prepwork we do require to build a solid foundation for your growth.
Questions for You
So You Want To Be A Baby Courtesan! Excellent! Please answer the following questions in as much detail as you can. Discuss them with people who know you and are close to you if you like; we did!
What are your goals?
Not just the immediate goals: lose 40 pounds, tighten my tummy, get rid of that unsightly rash, but the general lifestyle goals. How are you behaving now that you would not like to behave in the future. How would you like to behave? What would you like to be?
What has gotten in the way of you achieving these goals before?
External excuses are a no-no. Yes, we realize that catastrophes may have happened but catastrophes will always happen. For this, we are talking about you, your habits, and your mindset. Do you not handle stress well and fall out of your habits when under stress? Can you only jog at night under the full moon listening to Creedence Clearwater Revival on your iPod and you have no CCR? For some, it's trying for results too quickly and getting discouraged. For others, it's the inertia of bad habits. Have a think about what's been keeping you from achieving these goals before and...
How do you intend to achieve those goals now?
If whatever you were doing before didn't work, it's time for a change. Maybe you just need to do it among friends, which certainly seems to be working for us. Maybe you need to attack your habits individually, or put your goals firmly in front of you in a tangible form. Whatever the means, identifying your weak spots helps you fix them.
How do you think this comm will help you?
What are you looking for from us? One of the biggest ways this comm and this group is successful is because we communicate. Daily. A lot. We remind each other to eat healthy, that our goals are achievable, to go to bed on time, to get off the computer and get out into the world, that we are beautiful and lovable and worthy of becoming more. That we can do this, even if the results are neither visible nor immediate. This is what we do for each other, and this is how we help each other. How do you think this comm can help you, and what kind of help do you think you need?
A final note
This is a place for growth to the good, for change, and for positive action. It is not a community for attacking, ourselves or each other. Please refrain from doing so, by either talking yourself down or talking others down. If you need to discuss the negative things that happened or that you felt today, please refrain from treating it as an absolute. Please let us help you, and if you see one of your fellow baby courtesans in trouble, please help her if you can. Please be respectful of others' choices; if you're in deep discussions of improvements with someone whose improvement is to eat healthy, please refrain from talking about all the junk food you're snacking on, and so on. Please keep the negative energy out, or at least in its proper place, which is as a problem to which we are seeking a solution. This is not the place to call yourself fat or dumb or ugly, this is the place to find your strengths, not showcase or beat yourself up over your weaknesses.